A Survivor Story
Perseverance over fear and heartache
An immigrant to the US, the survivor’s partner (who was a US resident) became abusive, and the survivor* ended the relationship. However, the short time together had resulted in a pregnancy, and suddenly the survivor found themselves tied to their abuser through the shared child. On top of that, the survivor had recently learned they were HIV+. The abuser began weaponizing the survivor’s HIV+ status by telling them they were going to die soon and that they were an unfit parent. This was deeply painful to the survivor who truly feared their diagnosis was a death sentence.
The abuser took advantage of all the resources available to them to gain a cruelly lopsided custody order to limit the survivor’s parental rights. The abuser then sent the child to their home country without the survivor’s consent. The survivor was in anguish, feeling powerless because their immigration status did not allow them to leave the US. For six years, the survivor begged the abuser to bring the child back to no avail.
As soon as the survivor gained immigration status, they enjoyed a long-awaited reunion and brought the child back to the US. However, as soon as they returned, the abuser used the prior court order to once again take custody of the child and use them as a pawn against the survivor. In fact, the abuser refused to properly follow the order at all, preventing the survivor from seeing the child and withholding information that the survivor was entitled to. The survivor once again felt helpless knowing if they tried to ask for their time with the child, the abuser would only say no.
The survivor had had enough.
Be Heard.
The survivor reached out to DVP and met with Family Law Attorney Abie Green. Together, they discussed the options available so the survivor could decide how they wanted to proceed. Abie helped the survivor to reclaim their legal rights, including filing for a modification of the custody order in addition to a violation petition because the abuser was refusing to even follow the original limited order. Worried about potential backlash when the abuser found out about the court filing, they developed a safety plan to keep the survivor and their child secure.
Be Free.
Even while the legal case is pending, the survivor has already become more empowered and confident. The survivor felt able to push back for the first time when the abuser once again refused to allow the child go with the survivor for a school break they were entitled to. It took getting the police involved, but the abuser relented and followed the custody order for the first time. Since then, the survivor has also gotten access to their child’s medical and school records, and is able to spend extended time with the child during their summer break (yet another right from the original order the abuser was preventing before). With newfound confidence in demanding that their rights be respected, the survivor is beyond thrilled to enjoy upcoming school breaks with their child.
*For confidentiality and safety, this story is shared anonymously. Please note, the use of the pronouns “they/their/theirs” is used throughout as the neutral form. It is not meant to reflect any individual’s chosen pronouns.
